It will be 3 weeks tomorrow that I’ve been in Ghana and I’m preparing to enter the next half of my journey. I’m excited to get on the road , knowing nothing about what awaits me there !
After two weeks alone here in Ho, Ghana three American women showed up to volunteer filling the once empty house with chatter and activity and much to my surprise I have been somewhat antisocial. I don’t want to talk about my pets, my home or ,my work . I want my experience now to be Africa .. MY Africa , free of the distractions of home, and so I have been “ dancing to the beat of my own drummer” , following my own schedule , taking some of my meals on my own and it has felt good to claim this for myself .
After three weeks of wrestling with my discomfort I have discovered the magic of Africa , it is disguised in small moments ; the brilliant joyful smiles on the faces of the children here; the rich smell of moist clay after a monsoon rainstorm , ice cream on a stick midday when the sun is hottest , sipping coconut water from the coconut itself , hanging my wash out to dry as the roosters crow in the twilight .. so many things .. SIMPLE things .
The harshness of this place is what contributes to its beauty because for every moment of discomfort the peace and joy that comes when that discomfort subsides is profound !
As I have said before , Africa is a paradox . Driving through a village you will see women bent over a charcoal fire , chopping wood , fetching water , pounding “ fufu “ made from cassava and yam, and juxtaposed against this image imagine then , young people sitting in the dust and rubble on the side of the road on smart phones checking Facebook and Instagram !!
I wear a ring on my left hand , in part out of habit and in part because I thought it might keep men at bay as I travel.
The subject of marriage comes up almost daily . The exchanges go somewhat like this .
Them : “ Madam how is your husband “?
Me : “ I don’t have a husband “
Them : “ So you never marry?”
Me : Well , I WAS married but I’m divorced now “
Them : “ Oh noooo!! Whyeee?
Me : Well , it’s hard to explain , we married young and ..
Them ( interrupting me ) “He cheat on you ! “
Me : “No , actually there was no cheating , he was a good man .”
Them : “ if he is a good man , why you not with heem “?
Me : “ Well it’s complicated , we grew apart .. we became different people , but we are still friends “.
Them : “What you mean , you different people ? Who you now?”
And so folks this is where the conversation begins and ends .. they have no context for the personal growth journey , this is a privilege relegated to the west . The entire notion of the individual has very little context here on a spiritual or emotional level .
Autonomy is our blessing and our curse as creatures of the first world and yet it is our freedom to decide for ourselves who we are to be and what we are to do that is what the African people desperately want for themselves !!
I am so grateful for my all my personal freedoms !!
